Right off, you know this is an 1980s movie. The perky soundtrack assaults you immediately. The credits: fat, blocky white letters on a pitch black screen.
See if you can pay attention during the early story fragments. A guy’s getting off a ship with a suitcase full of dirty clothes … and cash. Pinches a bit for himself. Later, through a farmhouse window, we see dudes counting the money. There’s a carjacking, and the bodies of the two occupants are ditched. Train station: coffin being unloaded. A woman in widow’s garb spits in a guy’s face. Someone’s watching.
Remember what you can, but don’t waste brain cells trying to make it all fit together just yet. You’ll have to wait.
It settles into a stable narrative when Harold Shand (Bob Hoskins) gets off a plane and is met by his right-hand guy Jeff (Derek Thompson), the same guy whom the mysterious woman “gobbed” (as the Brits say) at the train.
Harold’s the main player in this movie. We know this because the perky theme music starts playing again briskly as he’s strutting on his way. He’s a London gangster, just back from a secret business trip to America. He’s put together an investment proposal for some New York mafioso-types. They’ll be arriving soon, to inspect the prime docklands Harold has snagged and plans to rejuvenate. He’s gonna be a legit businessman now and dreams of making London into Europe’s capital. The only thing standing in his way? To snag the Yanks’ dollars, he’s just got to show the a good time and convince them he’s a stable and professional partner.
But take a hint from the title … Harold is in for a long day.
As the day wears into night, Harold will see a couple of his gang murdered, a few of his businesses bombed. He tasks Victoria with keeping the Americans entertained while he spins off in search of answers by brow-beating everyone, his police stooge, the politician on the take, other gang leaders, and even his own henchmen. Instead of getting answers, he’s making more enemies.
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Bob Hoskins is absolutely brilliant as the gangster who wants to change the world but is too wed to his own glorious past power to see he’s in a losing battle. He’s vulgar, arrogant, smart-mouthed, and both too smart and too dumb to see the truth in front of him. In this early starring role, Hoskins is made for the part.
Helen Mirren is a great counterpoint: calm, smart, and devoted to Harold for reasons the script doesn’t try to convince us of.
(For 007 buffs: You’ll no doubt also recognize a very young Pierce Brosnan as an IRA henchman.)
Even with the variety of accents, it’s not too hard to follow the dialog, but non-Brits may still want to turn on the English subtitles. You don’t want to miss all the quippy dialog, such as when Harold advises Victoria to practice being rude. “The Yanks love snobbery. They really feel they’ve arrived in England if the upper class treats ’em like shit.” Or this ding on the Americans: “What I’m looking for is someone who can contribute to what England has given to the world: culture, sophistication, genius. A little bit more than a hot dog, know what I mean?”
The chief achievement of The Long Good Friday? You actually kind of want the scumbag Harold to win, or least survive a bit humbled. Even as his pride at being the top dog for so long is driving him to make increasingly dangerous, even idiotic, decisions. It ends as it should. The final image of Victoria in the backseat of a car, disappearing down the street, is indelible.